Drug Testing Memes

A funny (serious) look at internet memes and drug testing

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—Mobile Health Patient

Drug testing is a serious tool for screening job applicants. A well-run drug-free workplace program will result in a more productive and safer work environment.

But at Mobile Health, we also understand that the internet is a great place for entertainment and humor. Therefore we took some traditional online memes and added a drug testing spin to them. Check them out below and we hope you enjoy them.

Remember, the only 100% guaranteed way to pass a drug test is to not do drugs. Today’s SAMHSA laboratory testing will detect any substance ingested, added to the urine, or used to replace the urine for the purpose of adulterating the sample.

Not sure if lost the job because of jailed drug test or because got caught smoking a joint after the drug test.

Pre-employment drug testing is good for the initial screen, but don’t forget about annual and random testing to make sure your employees stay drug-free.

So tell me about this magic cookie you ate from a complete stranger

Many who fail a drug test will shift the blame to a suspicious brownie eaten, or a friend who did drugs near them. An MRO will investigate such claims and provide employers will the facts.

Avoided all temptations from stoner friends. Passed the drug test and got a good job.

The temptation to join friends and their drugs is something almost all young adults go through. Although pressured by peer pressure, those who avoid it will grow up drug free and never fear a drug test for employment.

I don't always follow the rules, but when I do, I pass the test and get a job

There are many ways to rebel and be interesting. Doing drugs isn’t one of them.

4/20 is coming. Followed by random drug test week

Marijuana culture is often talked about in secrecy or disguise. Employers need to be aware of secret behavior promoting drug use in their work environment.

If I smoke enough maybe I'll test above the cut off level

A popular urban legend is to take your drug test high and test above a threshold. Not a good idea.

My unproductive staff is too damn high

Loss of productivity is a common symptom of employee drug abuse.

Got fired for failing drug test. Asks to borrow money to buy more drugs

Unfortunately, chronic drug abusers refuse to realize that drugs are a problem in their employment. Employee drug testing is an important way to discourage such applicants from applying in the first place.

So medicinal marijuana will test positive? Guess I can't drive that 18-wheeler I wanted

Marijuana’s legal status does not interfere with employee drug testing. This is especially true with DOT drug testing which does not recognize recreational or medicinal marijuana to be an exemption.

Insisted on giving you her urine. Tested positive for pot, cocaine, meth, and heroin

A funny way some try to beat drug tests are by borrowing a friend’s urine. This is easily caught when the specimen temperature doesn’t match, there is too little or too much urine, or even when the applicant spills the urine in the bathroom.